Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Do or Die Edition: Things You Wear That You Really Shouldn't

White pants before Memorial Day?... Maybe. 
Denim on Denim?... There are exceptions. 
Uggs?... Never. 

Thats right ladies and gentleman (I know there are a few of you out there...) its time to unleash to you my personal expertise and tricks to keep you from looking like Fran Drescher after a week long bender. So grab yourself some popcorn and a glass of your favorite vino, and take note. 

: don't ever wear pajamas in public. You think this would be a no brainer... but some of us have no problem parading around in flannel with the most embarrassing graphics on them (ie reindeer, jelly beans and homer simpson). Like many things, keep these in the bedroom. 

DO: do use lingerie as an accent or inspiration in your wardrobe. Do not take this as a green light to wear your sexiest satin slip to work (though it may get you a raise), but what I can support is a sheer lacey top with a floral bra peeping underneath. Clingy and feminine fabrics = fabulous. 

DON'T: don't ever wear Crocs. Leave the Crocs on the the docks (I've never claimed to be a poet). And even then, consider a pair of Sperry topsiders instead. Whoever invented these ridiculous things needs a swift kick in the ass and a reality check- proper footwear is not made of "closed cell resin". Take a page from Manolo Blahnik's book and stick to leather and wood. 

DO: do explore new trends. Favorites of mine right now include: wooden wedges, head scarves, trouser pants and maxi skirts. 

DON'T: don't ever think wearing a "humor T" is fashionable or funny. Humor me and never wear one. 

DO: do dig through your closet to revamp your wardrobe. Behind the cobwebs and college sweatshirts there are hidden gems that can freshen up your look. Cut up and crop an old T shirt. Make old jeans into cut offs. Rip up an old oxford and make it into a scarf to tie around your head or hand bag. One of my favorite books/blogs to reference is PS I MADE THIS. It has a lot of great ideas! 

DON'T: don't forget that it is better to be overdressed than underdressed. You never know who your going to meet or run into. I think of this every time I go home to visit my parents: how horrible would it be to run into someone I have not seen in 7 years looking like shit and looking like I haven't done shit with my life? Personal nightmare. One of Oprah's fashion consultants did a great piece that covers just about every occasion here and it's a great reference!: 

DO: do invest in basics. Every wardrobe needs a classic trench, leather riding boots, and a great pair of dark wash jeans. These are items that will never go out of style and are easy things to throw on and instantly look great. To the left is the ultimate trench: Burberry. Kate Middleton has a great collection of Burberry trenches, and we all know how I feel about her...

Well kids, thats a wrap.
I have always been a believer in the old adage "rules are meant to be broken"... but in this case, they are not. 

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Easter- The Only Time Too Many Pastels Don't Make You Look Like A Walking Baby Shower

 I personally think that over the years, dressing for Easter has lost its luster. What ever happened to the white straw hats, patent leather shoes and tulle skirts? And guys... what happened to your bow ties and slicked back hair with a middle part while wearing your pastel suit jackets? Unfortunately like most holidays, I think that the formality has been completely lost and overshadowed by other things. On the other hand, one of Easter's most iconic patterns has been ruined by The Bro*... Seersucker. Wear with caution or you'll quickly turn from festive to a die hard DMB fan.

My family still has a large celebration where we all gather around the table that has been covered in any PETA members personal hell. Ham, pork tenderloin, raviolis, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole (you know the deal). The dinner is great and all, but what my cousins and I are really there for is the annual egg hunt. Sure, some of us might be "too old", but I am a firm believer in that age is just a number (but just in case I've got my retinol regime down to a science).  Above I posted a picture of me and my little cousin Samara mid hunt....Thankfully I was able to keep face for the photo, because one could never tell that immediately following that picture I sent her down a faulty path to throw her off my egg trail. Did I mention this hunt gets down and dirty?

Anyways, don't we look cute? I have been saving this skirt and lace top for this very occasion for 2 months (but lets be honest here, I embrace my pathetic social life and will admit that I had nothing better to wear it to) The floral midi skirt is a trend that I am all hands on deck for. This skirt in particular is from H&M and I have promised myself that I would wear it at least 3 more times this summer... anyone want to take this old gal anywhere? Lord knows I didn't impress anyone by watching all 3.5 hours of Ben Hur while hoovering down leftovers like I didn't consume a weeks worth of cals earlier that day. But seriously, wearing this made me feel like a lady... even the part where I had to slightly unzip the back after dinner.

Moral of the story is folks, take your holiday wardrobe and throw a curve ball in there. You've got 2 months until the 4th of July.... go get 'em.

*The Bro- a guy who feels it is his calling to not only be wildly obnoxious, but also happens to listen to horrible music and find it hard to be interested in something that isn't beer pong or his fantasy football team. Also see: ya kid, broseph and chad.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Royal Threads

I would like to start off by apologizing for my sparse and infrequent postings. It has been a long winter and daydreaming of sunshine over copious amounts of wine seemed like a better way to pass the time. Now that the sun has come out, its time to dust off the spiderwebs on this thing and start tackling this blog. 


The Royal Wedding is something that I have taken a lot of interest in in recent months. I have read all the tabloids, blogs and paperback books on the young couple (and of course wasting countless hours wondering when in gods name it will be my turn to marry royalty). I have also watched every Lifetime program on the speculated details of the wedding, what canapes* will be served at the reception, their relationship, and most importantly... Kate's dress. 

In my personal opinion, Kate is stuck between a rock and hard place. On top of having to prove to the world that "commoners" can be princesses too, she has to somehow top what her late mother-in-law wore at her own wedding. Im going to throw it out there that Diana's dress was not by any means the most beautiful thing in the world... it just had a lot of shock value. If it wasn't for her magnificent train, she just would have been a 19 year old girl stuck between two humungous puff sleeves and a crumpled ball gown. 

Kate is going to go classic. Above I have posted my personal style choices (complements of Pricillas). She has such a great figure that she could wear a paper bag and look great, but something form fitting, modern and sophisticated would really be great on her. With a budget like hers, the expectations are high and I am dying to see the what she steps out of the Rolls Royce with... ugh, some girls get all the fun. 

For those of you who's invitations got lost in the mail like mine, I will be viewing the wedding on television at 4am before work at 7, in full formal attire and enjoying a mimosa as if I were actually in attendance. Think big hat, Elie Saab dress and dripping with jewels like Elizabeth Taylor in a perfume commercial. I wish I was joking. 

So gang, get excited for the most talked about dress of the century... I know I am. 

*Canapes- Small, decorative finger foods served at important events- 10,000 will be served at the wedding, so let's hope the British can step up their culinary horizons before then. Either way, I am a firm believer that guests are there to be seen and not be fed! 

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Flaming Lips


I have recently committed myself to wearing red or fuchsia lipstick once a week, and I don't feel like this is an unobtainable or unrealistic goal... you know, like regularly balancing my checkbook, or drinking 8 glasses of water a day.

Last weekend my roommates and I had a Mad Men themed party, and every girl that attended adorned her own favorite hue of lip stick. It was awesome. I mean, who wears lipstick anymore? It really is a dead art and i think it's slowly coming back. Not only do you look great, but you feel more womanly... Some of us need some extra help, ya know?

So here I found a quick tutorial from M.A.C studios on how to perfect your crimson* lip. You'll be looking like a covergirl in no time! Enjoy!

*crimson- a strong and deep shade of red. Also happens to be the name of Harvard University's Newspaper.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Deadly Cyber Shopping Basket

 Does anyone else have a constantly full cyber shopping bag?... and on multiple websites? Personally, mine are full of unrealistic dreams and overpriced fantasy's. I honest to god have a full shopping basket on the Saks website. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

The shopping bag that is particularly dangerous to me is on the Urban Outfitters website. As an employee, I immediately look at things differently because I receive a discount. The strangest and most ridiculous items can appeal to me solely based on the fact that it is not full price. At least I know my paycheck is going full circle...

Anyways, I figured I would share what is currently in my UO shopping bag with you all. Of course these are just 4 of the 9 things that are in there. Let's start with the Pendleton messenger bag. Pendleton is a classic and trusted brand that is made of genuine leather and wool. I am in love with the Aztec print and bold colors. AND it's practical... something I cannot say about many things in my possession.

The paper bag trouser is something I must have this spring. I was thinking maybe the yellow might be a little too much, but hey... go big or go home right? Pair these puppies up with a sheer striped boatneck T and strappy wedges. LOVE LOVE LOVE. The only fear I have wearing these is being a victim of droopy-butt*

Lets move to the denim vest. I think the inner biker chick in me is dying to wear this (cue the hysterical laughter). Honestly I think I would get a lot of use out of this. Over a dress. Paired with a floral skirt. The  finishing touch of a Tennessee tuxedo...

And last but not least, we have the Matt Bernson Wide Strap Mini-Wedge Sandal. These ladies go for 200 dollars on the website. Think quality, not quantity. Think investment sandals. I also have a feeling that I would get my money's worth so why not right? Like any addict, excuses are my best friend.

*droopy butt- An unflattering, sagging in the rear of your pants and an epidemic among women of all ages. Was also a popular trend among young men in the 90's.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Urban Hiker

There are not a lot of "trendy" things I am completely sold on. Like sequins for instance. This past season you couldn't pick up a cami that wasn't completely covered in gaudy glitter. Now, I am not a complete sequin hater but there is a time and a place for the stuff, and I whole heartily believe unless you are a direct kin of Cher or Rue McClanahan*, sequin wearing needs to be in moderation. 

Anywho, one trend I did hop on was the hiker boot. Aside from being adorably ironic, they are easy to dress up or down and I couldn't fathom living without these. Before the big purchase, I did my research and found these: Jeffrey Campbell Lace Up Boot. Like most things, I bought them and then immediately went on sale. Such is life. 

What really inspired me to write about these was the amount of shit I got for wearing them at a gathering I went to last night. "Intense" and "Wicked Witch of the West" were two of the many colorful adjectives I got thrown at me. Sticks and Stones, baby. 

Of course this was all good and fun, and the main perpetrator eventually fell asleep with her hands down her pants on the couch so that was enough for me to have the last laugh :) 

Please note: I have done absolutely no hiking in these. Unless of course you consider trekking up the broken escalators at the Porter Square T station hiking. This girl sure does. 

*Rue McClanahan- The best dressed and most glamorous of the 4 Golden Girls. See also- Southern Belle and Harlot. 

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Spring Countdown

With all of this snow we've been having, I needed a little pick me up.... aka perusing the new designer summer collections online. These three girls are from the Marc Jacobs Resort 2011 collection.

So cute. I die.

I can't stop imagining myself wearing the middle number on a yacht in June, somewhere off the shore of Newport RI while enjoying a blackberry mojito.  Realistically, I probably wont be doing any of these things... especially if I buy this dress. But if I play my cards right, perhaps I can meet a nice yachtsman at the waterfront bar at H2o* and he can buy me the dress?...

Ho Hum. A girl can dream right?

And by the way... 51 days 'till spring... we may or may not have a countdown at work.

*H2o- waterfront restaraunt and bar on Thames Street in Newport RI. Great food, breathtaking views, hot, rich possible sugar daddy's.